My Dissertation

OK, so the countdown has begun. I defend my dissertation in 11 days. Am I nervous? Yes!! Am I excited? Yes!! The rational side of my brain says that my director, Dr. Sharon Pace, would not let me get to this point if she thought I would go down in a ball of flame and agony. The neurotic side counters with--They have to fail someone sometime! Overall, I think it'll be fine, but . . . .

Not to be overly spiritual, but this whole thing reminds me of my constant need for God's grace. I could not have gotten this thing written without it. I remember times of prayer in which I was at a bit of an impasse concerning a particular problem in the text. I asked for help and got it. Could I have written this work without divine assistance? I think the answer is No. Of course, this conclusion demands we ask the question--does anyone accomplish anything without divine help? Did God do something for me, or was I simply more aware of His help than others are? From there, it's just a hop, skip and a jump until we come face-to-face with the problem of evil. If God helps some in projects of worth, does the Devil help others in projects that lead to destruction? And, is that help something discernible? If so, how do we know?

Again, we are drawn back to the conversation about epistemology. What do we know? And, how do we know we know it? The more I consider these questions, the more I gravitate toward the idea that all knowledge is conditional. If not all knowledge, then a whole lot of it! A huge mound of conditional knowledge! Huge, I tell you!! At any rate, it seems that knowledge has a personal (an existential) side to it. And, it must for it to be something that we ourselves know.

Now, does that suggest that there is no objective truth? No, it just means that we are subjective beings. Thus, we can't really know stuff objectively. We'd like to, but it escapes us. Thus, there are limits to knowledge, all knowledge.

This brings me to passion. Passion is not necessarily wed to objective certainty. In fact, I would say that most of the time passion has nothing to do with objective or "scientific" certainty. Passion is dynamically connected with belief. People are passionate about what they believe to be true, or, sometimes, what they desperately want to be true. So, should we avoid passion? I would say No! What we should avoid is the idea that life is simple, that God is simple, that knowing God is simple, easy or convenient. I guess I'm kind of passionate about that.